When nightmares flood you mind
you can’t find a safe place to hide.
The shadows in the darkness try to take over your life.
I know He is here
but it’s my child hood i never had that i try to hold dear.
5 years i was put through hell in that house.
Ridiculed and bullied, beaten and fooled.
Two faced girls have never been so mean.
To this day that kind of blacked heart i haven’t seen.
But i know that they are gone and i am safe now.
but the nightmares still haunt me.
my demons are still here.
They follow me where i go.
They try to come out.
But i shove them back under my own shadow of doubts.
I wake up in tears.
Not able to breathe from my fear.
But i know i am safe and the demons are not near.
Only in my mind is where they still try to find.
my self hate.
my wrists that i use to mutilate.
The scars are still here.
and yeah so is my fear.
but i am getting better i promise.
or am i still my own 8 year old self.
being drown in a pool.
being called a worthless piece of shit!
for 5 years i was called ugly and fat.
I didn’t know any better.
I wasn’t old enough to know that.
That i was beautiful.
And worthy of all the love in the world.
but the neighborhood girls tried for 5 years to distroy that.
so here i am tonight
crying and in pain.
i can still feel words like a poison needle in my vein.
my back maybe broken
some feelings still unspoken.
but i can sure as hell gaurentee
I will love you like i have never been broken <3